Milk Bone sells for $200,000 on eBay

      Potato chips looking like famous people have sold on eBay for large amounts of cash. Now a local Ft Stockton man has sold a milk bone dog treat for an amazing $200,000. After finding his mini Schnauzer raiding the dog treat cabinet, Mr. John Aptons noticed a gleaming light from the corner of his eye. He reached out for the snack and when the glare disappeared, the cookie bone strikingly resembled the infamous Virgin Mary. Once Mr. Aptons sealed the snack in a Ziploc bag, he ran straight to his eBay account and uploaded a picture. Bids began immediately, and soon rose over the 6 figure amount. Mr Apton wouldn't reveal the name of the buyer,  except mentioning that the buyer was adding to his collection which included, a homer Simpson looking apple, and a Madonna looking wart removed from the foot of an Indian boy.

      A cult of elf-like woman were discovered this weekend by the Big Bend Inquirer investigative team. Rumors of strange happenings in Marathon were being reported every full moon. Our team unearthed some secrets from a x member of the group who wishes to remain anonymous. The elf lady wouldn't blame the cult for the mischief recently in town, but did say the full moon made it easier to see at night for their tiny eyes.

Study shows laundry dries faster in Ft Stockton

      A recent study done by some Sul Ross students concluded that wet laundry dries faster in Ft Stockton. The students did five loads of laundry at different intervals during the day. The drying times were then recorded and calculated. Their results are being measured against national drying times to try and find the optimal drying town. In the past, Ft Stockton has been ranked among the highest in number of yellow roofs per capita and home of the funniest joke.

      A new novel has just been published in Marfa. The 7 page thriller was noted to be the shortest print to date by author Sally Schefield. Copies go on sale at all local book stores next week. Ms. Schefield plans on having a 7 minute book signing, as well as a 7 minute book reading. Following the reading she will also have a 7 minute book release party.

      Rattlesnakes are very common in the area, and on Friday, a 35 footer was shot. Four Terlingua residents were out four wheeling when they were thrown off their ATVs. This occurred after both machines ran over the monster. "we were going pretty fast. i just couldn't stop. It was like a desert speed bump."  Although the snake was shot several times, it slithered away and was not located.

Elephant in the Big Bend National Park

     While many native species of the Big Bend National Park have fled to find water, one new species has been spotted near the basin. A large male Grey elephant is now frequenting the visitors center. When asked, park officials have suggested that it might have wandered away from a Mexican circus. Guests are being asked not to attempt to ride the beast. A mischievous black bear was recently removed, and a mountain lion was hunted down due to attacking a child. Lets cross our fingers that the new creature stays friendly...bring peanuts.

      Marathon is known for its great homegrown food. This week a 50 lb. tomato was harvested by local backyard farmer Evan Summers. Only organic fertilizer was used to grow this behemoth. Surprisingly, this is not a world record. An Irish grass farmer grew a 110 lb tomato on accident in 1943. Evan plans on canning most of his prized tomato; or tomato, depending how you pronounce it....

      Returning from a retreat in Terlingua, a small bus filled with Nuns came face to face with the bottom of a 12ft deep pothole on I-10, outside Ft. Stockton. As the trail of R.V.'s and snowbirds return north to maybe catch one last snowfall before spring, our highways and byways feel the strain. Road crewman Rod Stevens commented that this is not the first time a large pothole has opened up over night. "I reckon one of them big rigs blew out a tire or something...that probably caused that there." By the grace of God none of the Nuns were injured.