Man comes out of ground after 47 years

      After 47 years in his underground bunker, a Terlingua man finally comes out. In 1965, Jerry Wise buried a shipping container and made it his home. His food rations took up most of the space, although Mr Wise had just enough room for his pet turtle, Fredrick. Until recently, both were doing just fine. Then suddenly the pair came down with a bad case of the sniffles. Being a life long member of the S.P.C.A., Mr. Wise disregarded his own safety, and risked possible nuclear fallout exposure to insure Fredrick's continued good health.

     

       Guinness came to Alpine yesterday after hearing of Clint McMurrys attempt to break the world record for longest bull ride. His record breaking ride lasted 6 hours, 46 minutes, and 8 seconds. Clint was quoted saying ," Dang!!! That was fun!!!! My butt hurts..." Mr. McMurry also holds the world record for skydiving with the most chickens and the fastest oil change on a John Deere.